NIPWSHANPNAIHNAP5HN[AANHPINAp

Thats right.. I could not think of a better title for this sad attempt at poetry..

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As the last light goes out,

so does the anger and strife,

Out comes the meaning of life..

When the last candle is blown,

And you realize you live your entire life to live alone,

live your life like a monofunctional clone..

Not to have lived a second in your entire life,

to cover up your true soul in disguise..

To not feel a moments respite,

The numerous comforts of life despite..

Life’s but increasing the numbers in a little book,

But the little joys everyone seems to overlook..

The smile of a child,

The cry of the wild,

The happiness in gratitude,

The rain in the expanse,

The music of clairvoyance,

Lost all on meaningless flamboyance..

We kill the earth that supports us,

citing our own mother wants to inhibit us.

Listen to the words of thee,

Nothing in life is free..

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Wrath (Part 1 of 7 Deadly Sins Stories)

He watched the jostling of the crowd in the morning from his window. They wore the same expression of weariness and irritation before going to work. He watched every single one of them over cups of black coffee. After about a month he thought he could identify some of the regulars passing through the signal. The fat lady with the short hair, the indifferent guy, the old man with horn-rimmed glasses, the beautiful girl always on the phone.. He felt he knew them. He felt content just looking at them every day

It has been a month since he moved into this house. He was always found sitting in his balcony or near the window staring at the expressions of all the commuters. He really did pass on as a writer as he told his landlady, the kind lady who thought the welfare of the society rests on her puny shoulders. He was a writer all right.

The perfect crime is the one that mystifies the authorities. For this there should be no motive, apparent or inherent.

Whenever he was not observing the people at the signal from his high window like a bird of prey, he was working on his laptop like a maniac every day. He knew that success comes those who proceed with caution and plan their way through. He knew that life is like a game of chess, You need to consider every possible alternative, every possible move, every possible failure.

The perfect crime is that which leaves no clues behind.

It was the 14^th of June, the day they had killed her. He couldn’t believe it had been one year. He knew the commuters would’ve all forgotten about her. Every single one of them. But he could not.

He thought about the accident. It was a classic hit and run accident. A year ago, during the morning rush hour, a young lad with a powerful bike was coming towards the signal. Reports later proved his brakes had failed and he was sober. Newspapers later described their death as a freak accident. Paramedics later complained about the late reaction of the onlookers which caused silvie’s life.

He was here to make them remember her. Every single one of them.

The perfect crime is that which causes mass hysteria. Because one man’s fear is another’s force.

He couldn’t have chosen a better day for his persuasion. It was after all silvie’s anniversary. He had installed signal jammers the previous night in the one mile radius. They would later be discovered but would yield nothing. The serial numbers have been torched out, there was not a single print, not a single fiber on them for any identification.

The public telephones in the vicinity were sabotaged over the week. Some were disconnected. Some were broken. On the 14^th of June, none of them worked.

The blast took everyone by surprise. The fat lady with the short hair, the indifferent guy, the old man with horn-rimmed glasses and the beautiful girl, everyone was at the signal. Everyone was shocked at the blazing white light and the sudden burning sensation. Everyone saw her before they died.

No crime is perfect without a calling card. To mock the authorities, to drive a point, to make a statement.

They all saw the balloon, but only when death faced them did they see the face on the balloon. It was silvie’s. They realized life had come a full circle with death. They understood.

 

The perfect crime is that which has a clean get-away.

He stayed on in the house for a week after the blast. He had finished his manuscript. The fact that he had scripted most of it before the blast was immaterial. His manuscript was looked at as the best, most comprehensive story about the blast. Of course it had no mention of silvie. But it did mention everything that ever took place on the day of the blast. And how the lack of response from onlookers delayed the paramedics and killed those thirty five commuters.

Theories

Well when a bunch of stimulated brains meet on the terrace of a dingy apartment in the evening, What do they do?? well they try to create the future.. much like Mr Albert or Mr Isac..

I have, in my quest to find a better world been formulating theories ever since I was a kid. Some of them are even put up for public consumption and since I dont see any activists sitting infront of my house letting go of their food so they can feed the hungry in the United States, I can safely say they have all been accepted..

So here I am giving you guys something to think about… again..

• Our house is one of the cleanest in the area..

                                      Now anyone who knows us will ask if we are high or just plain blind?? but we came to this startling conclusion with the help of Nature. It was nature that guided us to believe we are the cleanest!!. Now coming to the theory, If a house is dirty and dingy (like u assume our house to be..) one would find a growing habitat in it along with humans, Insects, lizards, snakes, rats etc. Now any place with so many creatures would definity succumb to mob wars and there will be blood, of cockroaches, lizards, rats etc. Now any place with a lot of dead animals hidden in corners (like u think our house does) would definitely attract the vultures and crows.. and since after sitting on the terrace for two hours, we saw none of them even coming in our direction we believe our house is still ‘clean’.. (we did notice them sitting on some of our neighbors terrace, cant wait to find out how dirty are they!!)

Since No crows on Terrace – Clean House. Hence proved!!

The rest of the theories are pretty much self explanatory.. so I aint goin to cause trouble to a lot of electron asking them to displace themselves this early in the morning and leave out the good stuff to your interpretation..

• Being a Commercial Pilot is the most satisfying job in the world.. I don’t need to explain why..
• The Time between sunset and sunrise is when we all are at our ‘productive best’. .:P
• The ideas one comes up in a day is directly proportional to the time one spends on the ‘Throne’.
• Statistics have Inferred the time spent on repenting an action is approximately 20 years.
• Studies have also shown that the female species was not originally created by a man’s rib.. but In fact is a result of a parasite attaning higher form of existance.
• The best way to jump from a loft (10 ft high) is to let go of the ladder coming down.
• The fastest way to jump from a loft (10 ft High) is to get pushed by your ‘friend’.
• It takes One book, One bottle of Gatorade, One Five star to convince an average man to do your work for you.
• It takes 4.5 Billion Years (& counting) to convince an avg woman to do your work for you.
• The earth is Flat. What goes around doesn’t come around..
• An Average man on a monday morning is either bored/ disgusted/ Mentally asleep or is a workaholic..
• Insomnia Affects those who have nothing to do. Those who are battling with time sleep..
• For Insomniac’s around the world, The best invention is that of a coffee..
• The number of digits in ur bank account are inversely propotional to the items on your wish list.

I am looking forward to researching an interesting topic and enlightening my (handful) readers about it. Pen, Mosquito, Egg being my last few topics, I’m looking forward to some good ideas.. Help would be appreciated and as usual not mentioned..

I Live!!!

I havent posted anythign for a loooooooong loooooooong time.. I was actually scared that it’d been so long that i might’ve forgotten how to do it..

• I am a raging insomniac. I sleep for a maximum of 3 hrs a day. In ALL.. Its not that I am so busy that I cannot sleep but generally its because even though i try i cant.. there have been nights where I have observed every square inch on the ceiling, named all the newborn spiders, prepared their career plan, married some of them off, scouted for their future ‘homes’ and Still not feel sleepy.. As I have to catch my company bus at 6 in the morning (or miss office than travelling 120 kms), I really do not have an option of sleeping in. and I cannot get myself to sleep before 3 am.. I’ve tried everything – music, hindi movies, counting spiders.. I even stooped so low as to read a sydney sheldon but to no avail..

• I had called up my Lecturer in college for some work and was surprised to see his concern for the global recession. I mean has one ever heard of colleges being affected by the recession (apart from the placement). Apparently there had been a drop in the number of applications sold, the number of management seats, NRI seats.. (meaning the hot chick population has gone down.. sniff..  )  Does that mean parents have stopped educating their kids in view of the recession??

• I have Finally started using the things i learnt in my Engineering.. (yeah yeah stop laughing..) My opportunity was provided in the form of my beloved bike.. It started throwing tantrums a few months ago when it stopped lighting up the road ahead.. But then I thought it was just helping me enjoy the drive in the dark.. Then it stopped honking at pretty ladies too!!! I mean what can a guy do if not honk at pretty ladies on the road?? But the best was when it decided it will emulate me and become unstoppable!! And just like that one fine day the brakes stopped working!! I’ve been using all the Mechanical knowledge to drive it.. techniques to stop it without brakes are hard to find. .:P

This post is just to say that I aint dead yet.. Looking for a topic to enlighten people about it (ala Pen, Egg, Mosquito posts)

So In the words of Famous King Julien, “I Live”!!!!!!!

First Panorama

Panoramic photography is a technique of photography that captures images with elongated fields of view.Also known as wide format.

One chilly sunday morning (chilly ONLY by chennai stds), I got up at 5:30 AM and rushed to the beach.. The Objective was not to stare at pretty young things taking their morning walk, nor was it to help the damsels in distress after spraining their ankles etc.. The mission was to capture some good pics..

But like I said, God has his own plans for me.. so Even though I pretty much risked my life and limb to get a shot, the sky was overcast robbing me of the precious ’sunrise shot’.

I did however manage to get my first panorama shot.. consists of three pics and stiched in the camera itself.. Kinda imperfect but for me thats proof that i didnt get up for nothing!!

 

 

Please click here for the full size Image.

 

Comments and Suggestions Welcome..

Digital Editing

I’ve always thought of photo-editing as something done to cover up faults in the picture. To compensate for in articulated eye. Although I aint good at photography I never actually appreciated the post processed pictures.

But then I realised post processing is just a tool to enhance the picture taken.. I mean if the picture if good the post processing actually makes it better..

I had used photoshop till now only to create posters.. My first attempt at photo editing is posted below.. Request comments and suggestions..

The light at the End of the Tunnel

Idyllic

Inhabitants of Apna Dhabha..

Do let me know if they have come out properly..

.:rV:.

History 101. The Egg..

I have recently found out the Third best thing on earth. The Egg.. Now I ain’t one of those bulky NECC models (I meant I ain’t the later) but I do have to admit it was one of gods greatest achievements!! I was so intrigued by this little thing that I began researching in all earnest and came across the story of Egg.. And it Blew my mind away..

Long Long time ago when god sat high upon in his throne, depressed over the terror he unleashed in his perfect garden (code named: ‘Eve’), He began exploring all the possibilities to correct his mistake. He came down and introduced the concept of the ‘apple’ well knowing that ‘Eve’ would fall into his trap and his beloved Adam could have some ‘fun’. But that wasn’t enough.. after mere centuries of having ‘fun’ the descendants of Eve started causing mass destruction. One of them even became a ship launcher effectively launching 1000 mammoth ships outta her face and cause the greatest battle of all times.

It was then that he started working on his project and fondly called it ‘Playstation’.. His minions created Nintendo while The devil created Prada.. He conceptualised the greatest equipment earth has ever seen which would be modified a thousand times. His minions created Game Boy and the Devil came up with ‘Sale’.

It was around the same time that he stumbled upon fermentation and decided to gift his beloved Mankind with it.. Men were willing to forget the atrocities Gods mistake caused.

But somewhere down the line came the Egg. It’s entry into the world was nothing short of a miracle and to this day remains the single most intriguing unsolved question EVER. Nobody knows how it had come into existence, Nobody knows when it came into existence.

The story goes that while man was starved to death by his ‘bitter-half’ the whole world was saddened. On one particular night when the man was made to cook for himself the universe couldn’t bear it, the sky darkened with the clouds there was thunder and lightening all around. The God had planned to wipe off the slate called earth and asked Noah to gather his stuff and get in a boat to survive. It took seven days for god to clean his slate and it was then that to keep Noah from starving the Egg was sent to earth.

Ever since then it has been looked up as boon to man. Free men. unmarried men.. It is the simplest thing to cook yet is exotic. It is disgusting yet appetizing. It doesn’t expect men to pamper it with tiny leaves, ground vegetables etc.. It understands a man has got better things to do.. And the best part is.. It COMPLETES Gods other two gifts.. If you do not know what it feels like to play on a PlayStation while consuming Fermented juice and eating any form of cooked Egg, you do not know anything.

Surprisingly on an after note, outta the three gifts to man. It is the Egg that causes the descendants of Eve Unimaginable pain.. But that was not the topic. .:P

My first Cam, My first Photoblog and my first Assasination..

My first Cam, My first Photoblog and my first assasiantion..

 

Putting up some of the Pics I’ve taken with my new cam.. an Olympus SP570uz..

Engulfed In Fire..

 

Speechless.. One of my Favorite Pics!!

 

Burn’t Yet Standing.. Just like me..

 

Abstract

 

Dusty

 

Water..

(Hand Model – Rohan Khetrapaul)

 

An Evening Out with Friends..

 

Sparkle Town Called “Apna Dhabha”

(Photographer Not me- Agastya Paidipally)

 

 

Serenity

 

Just passing by..

 

Disgusting Little Creature..

 

 

So There ya go guys.. go for the kill!! Comments welcome, appreciated and even demanded!!

Ghost in the Belfry – II

 

Perhaps I should start out by reminding you all about the ghost that has been living with us in our apartment, probably in our rooms and scarily in our ………. erm..

 

So we set out to find more about our ‘roomie’ if we may call it that. And one day after a particularly good ‘Round table conference’ at castle hallalot, we sat down seriously and looked at this daunting task. Someone (I don’t remember who and I don’t think he does either) suggested that we prepare a list of all the known facts about the sixth roomie.

 

1.      We started out with establishing the gender of the Ghost.

All our food had started disappearing, Now that meant either the ghost is a big foodie – Can be a guy or a girl.  OR it could be a health conscious sexy female who wanted our waistlines to go down by an inch or two.

 

All of us being logical guys decided to go with the idea that the ghost was a female, a hot, health and figure conscious one at that.

 

2.      Now lets fuel our fantasies and call the ghost angie for the time being.  We also know that angie was fond of fermented drinks as we saw a lot of that disappearing. Now judging by the quantity of those it’s either a female who has the liver a guy would kill for OR she thinks she is doing us a favor by flushing it down the drain.

 

                                      So we decided to go with the odds and decide that it’s a typical female and is flushing those fermented drinks delusional that her actions are actually going help us.

 

Off late angie has been starting to act out. She is making her presence felt in the house. We even get the feeling she might be walking around naked. Although we don’t know it for sure but we being all decent guys are embarrassed by it and no longer walk around in ‘comfortable clothing’.

 

• We have been witnessing strange mind boggling events in the last few weeks.  Each of them so twisted that it got us sitting in the castle hallalot again. You see the lighting fixtures have started disappearing almost suddenly and persistently. It started out with the bathroom light going bust, Now probably angie the ghost was so happy with the cleanliness of the bath that she wanted to see if it looked jus as neat and beautiful in the dark, whatever her reasons are we din’t know.    But we did know about the existence of the mythical second bathroom the location of which was revealed to us by a sage in the very same castle hallalot. Hence we let angie have her pleasure and started using the other bath.                                                                                          Lo and behold a few days later the light in thee second bath was gone too!! I think it had something to do with our using it and beautifying it. Anyway we decided to go ahead logically and stop using the bathroom at night or use it in its dark state.                                                                           But apparently angie the ghost did not stop at that. A few days later the light to our shrine (an atheist one), the place where we wash our clothes, the place we park the cycle, the place we call the bottle room, the kitchen was plunged into darkness. It was during this time that we decided to give her a warning and bought some soft lights (we were still concerned bout her aversion to light, also they were cheap) to illuminate all the three rooms.

 

• Angie is also suffering from withdrawal symptoms. We know this because a few months back the interiors of the house looked like the less frequently used Santa’s chimney (with us as inhabitants I think we created a black hole on Santa’s map over our house). But the fact is that now there is lesser medically modified air to suit angie. She hasn’t taken it well I’m afraid. She has started nibbling at the paper and the leaves effectively ruining them. That B!{(#. I think its high time we cut her off!! Lock up all the precious stock in wooden boxes and swallow the key if we have to.   

 

 

Whatever said and done, Angie has helped us explain a lot of things around here, the reason why our rooms get dirty in a day, the reason why the books we borrow from our friends start stinking like “cockroach poop” ( Its another story how she knew what it smells like), How our washed clothes still smell a lot like we had them excavated from King tut’s tomb. How the reports don’t get made because she turns off the laptop before I can save those files. How the alarms don’t go off because she turns them off to let us poor souls sleep a little longer and miss our work. How she scares off all the girls who dare to come to our place by creating an illusion jus because she’s jealous of them.

 

 

We’ve now learnt to live with her, bear her tantrums and try not to offend her. But she’s a female ghost after all and hence can neither be tamed nor understood..

Ghosts in the Belfry – Part 1

This is a post I wrote a long time back.. posting it again as the story continues today..

I never believed in ghosts.. Ever.. Even if someone did try to occasionally convince me about the spirits roaming around the planet, I would be searching for someone I knew.. Ghosts can be seen but not spirits.. I never believed that ghosts exist and that their purpose of ‘living’ if you can call it that is that to scare humans, appear in mirrors behind you in the bathroom, ask for lifts in the middle of the night or hang upside down from a tree!!

Now frankly anyone who believes in the existence of ghosts need to think.. Why would ghosts see themselves in the mirror?? And that too only when U’re looking at it and getting late to office/ bed.. They don sleep, don go to office, don meet ‘friends’.. if they did exist, they would not haggle over the mirror!!

They can fly, teleport, and do all kinda stuff which they could not while they were alive.. so tell me why would they ask for a lift in the middle of the night?? Did superman ask for lifts?? Did nightcrawler ask for lifts?? then why would they?? it doesnt even make em look cool..

Now why would a dead man torture himself?? what purpose can be achieved by hanging upside down when he can do all the cool stuff.. he can watch movies for free.. (ne ghost if u’re jobless enuf to read this post go watch hollowman first!!) he can eat, drink holiday for free.. then why would he hang upside down??

Having clarified a lot bout ghosts lemme tell ya the story of Flat number 33/4 Abhirami Apts..

Ever since we moved in there have been incidents which at first did not mean anything, but later on we found out they still meant nothing… question is why in the first place are these incidents taking place??

The Stink-up..

I had gone to Bangalore for the weekend and when I came back I got the shock of my life.. the whole place started stinking!! Now it wasn’t like it never stank.. The hall always used to stink… so much so that the fan was always switched ON.. even if nobody was in there.. I’m sure it was not our fault as we are all clean hygienic bachelors.. I later found out It was because of the stinking spirits!! This was their first attack..

The Mosquito attack

Now everybody knows that the spirits can control a lot of creatures.. the one in our house controls mosquitoes.. He has made them immune to smoke from any coil, or for that matter even non coil smoke.. They are immune to any sprays available in the market, any liquids, creams available.. The sole purpose of theirs existence is to attack the inmates with everything they’ve got.. bright side is, this is making us learn dancing..

The third attack was very subtle and tastefully done.. Since the beginning, humungous quantities of food used to disappear in a day or two.. A whole carton of food brought by my friend all the way from Delhi disappeared in two days!!

Now this was a major blow.. food is always a very sensitive area for bachelors.. but something happened that made us forget this incident and declare war with the spirits.. They had drank our spirits.. Nearly 30 bottles of fermented drinks were finished in less than 3 hours.. But the strange part was nobody remembers having so much.. That when it got personal.. that’s when we downloaded Ghostbusters from the net.. that’s when we decided to establish the cause of all this..

That’s when we found out that everything is related!! Our Flat number, the number of people staying in it and the number 13..

I still don’t believe in ghosts but I do think that spirits exist… And I’m pretty sure that something or someone is in our house making our money disappear, making our clothes dirty, making the house dirty and disturbing the organized chaos…

If any of you have ANY suggestions, any inspiring movies, any scary paintings, if you know anyone who may scare the spirit of our house, please let me know..

Part ll Coming up soon..

-rV